Total Drama Equestria Girls
'' Total Drama Equestria Girls is a retelling of ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls ''by MightyMewtron and CoGreen2.0. 000 Plot Beth: Stho! Gwen! How doesth it feel to be a prinsthesth!? · Gwen: *they are ponies* Well... I haven't gotten used to it. If that's the question. ... Ugh...CODY! Where's my crown!? · Cody: Got it RIGHT here! *holds up the crown and puts it in his pants... right next to the bread... yes, pony cody wears pants* · Heather: How can you NOT wear that crown ALL the TIME! I swear Gwen, Sometimes your taste baffles me. If I had that crown, I'd strut it! · *Gwen enters the castle* · Princess Bridgette: *is macking Geoff* · Gwen and Bridgette: Haiku! Haiku! Who's the letter for? Read it twice and ask for more! · Chris: I have so much pain to put you through! But it can wait until tomorrow. You all look tired from the finale. Now, off to bed, all of you. · Cody... sleeping in a basket in Gwen's room. Dafuq?. · Gwen's Room · Cody: What's wrong, Gwen? · Gwen: I don't know Cody. I'm just...worried, I guess. Bridgette was given a whole ceremony to attend. What if, now that I'm a princess, Chris expects me to be a party girl, too? · Cody: That would be... sexy!!!! I mean cool.... · Gwen: No it would not! Just because I have these wings and a million bucks doesn't mean I'm going to become Dakota Milton! · Cody: Aw don't sweat it! Now get some shut eye while I watch... It's not creepy. (pulls out bread and starts eating it* Big day tomorrow. · Gwen: (struggling) Can't...tuck.... (grunts while Cody watches enthralled) · (She tucks in her wings, but they pop out and throw her diary onto the floor) · Gwen: Just trying to get comfortable! AND DON'T READ THAT! · Cody: I would never....... *as soon as she falls asleep, Cody grabs it and begins reading it* · (Epic theme song) · DEAR MOM AAAAND DAD! · DEAR MOOOM AAAND DAD! · AUGH · AUUUUGH · AAAUUUGGGGHHH · I'MDOING FINE! · You guys are always on my mind! · I'M DOING FINE! · And I know you asked what I wanted to be! · Leshawna: Big and FAMOUS! · Izzy: BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! · Heather: Be popular! · Beth: Have a boyfriend! *hugs brady picture* · Lindsay: Sharing lip gloss! · WHAT YOU WANNA BE! · The answer is just PLAIN TO SEE! · I WANNA BE FAMOUS! · Did you know you're all my very best... · TEAMMATES!!!! · *end · (A bright light gleams through a door. A cloaked mare trots through the halls ever so quietly) · (Crickets chirping, loon calls because Canada) · Cody: (is having wet dream about Gwen) · (the cloaked mare enters Gwen's room, quietly replaces the million dollar case with a burnt, fake one and prepares to leave) · (She trips over the bread that was in Cody's pants) · Cody: (dreaming) Yeah, you can go there...ho-Wha? Huh? · Gwen: (wakes up) My million dollars! She has my million dollars! ... jerk. (begins chasing her) · (large chase sequence yada yada yada · *million bucks falls in the mirror* · Gwen: Stop! Thief! She's stolen my winnings! · Everyone: GASP! · Courtney: Sorry it had to be this way....New Heather! (goes through mirror) · Lindsay: Was THAT Tyler? · Chris: Courtney was one of your old teammates. She lost unfairly and let her hatred grow and grow and turned her into a dishonest and cruel person. · Chris: We tried to restrain her, but she eventually decided to undergo character derailment and pursue her own path. One that sadly has led to her stealing the prize money. · Cody: She replaced Gwen's case with THIS! *holds up the burnt case* · Chris: I suppose Courtney thought you wouldn't notice right away that this wouldn't buy s**t. And by the time you did, it would be too late to go after your money and proof of victory. · Gwen: But... where did she go? Where did she take the million dollars? · Chris: You'll know more about this place... than any of my interns do... · *shows dead intern ponies behind mirror* · Chef: This is no ordinary mirror. It's a gateway to another world. A gateway that opens every three seasons. · '''0'Izzy: Can I lick it? · Chef: It was always in the storage. But when we let Bridgette and Geoff take hold of the aftershow, we moved it here. · *they are at the Aftermath studios* · Chris: I was hoping that Courtney would bounce back from the depths of cold hearted bitchdom... obviously this is not the case. · Bridgette: Gwen, you must use the mirror to go into this other world and retrieve your money. Otherwise, without it... you'll be "broke ass poor". · Chris: Your cash does not belong in the place Courtney moved her scrawny butt to. And in her possession, the cashola will no doubt be used to sue the crap to the guys in that other realm. They won't be able to get a good defense attorny. · (It's okay, your is funnier) · Chris: You understand the importance of your task? · Gwen: Not really... guys. This is dangerous. It's just mone- · Chris: Good, then go at once. · Leshawna: AWWWW HELL NO! If she's going, so are we! *Heather stands to the side* Cept her. -3- · Izzy: HAHA! · LeShawna: Aint dat right, gurls? · Izzy: Ooooh! I'm getting loco for BOOM BOOM! · Chris: Woah Woah Woah! I said Gwen goes! This is a one person only thing. I haven't your contracts yet and if anything happens to the rest of you, I'm screwed. · *updated · Chef: Time is of the... aw forget it. GO ALREADY! *kicks Gwen into mirror* · Cody: But how will I sleep without watching her?! *follows* · Wawankwa High · Gwen: *groan* · Cody: Um....Gwen? · Gwen: Cody?! What are you doi- are you a dog??? · {C}2:32'MightyMewtron'Cody: Oh, yes I am! (checks self) Oh, I am. · Cody: Uh... Gwen... *whines* You're not hot anymore! *starts sweating* I'm freaking out!!! · Gwen: What? *checks self* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU · (she is dressed as normal self) · Cody: Gwen! Keep it together! · Gwen: *heavy, slightly angered breathing* *sigh* What does the rest of me look like? It better not be all frilly. Cody: *gives the "dat ass" look* ... Not bad actually. · Gwen: *facepalms...feels face* My muzzle?! *panics* · Cody: Are you gonna scream again? · Gwen: I don't know. But that must be the gateway to Equanada of something. We need to get that cash as soon as possible and get the hell outta here. I guess we start searching that castle first. · Cody: Works for me. *hops on her back* I could get used to this. Cody: *Gwen gallops... they see Noah walking his labrador* Uh... Gwen... · Noah: *gives dafuq look, then shrugs and ignores it* · Lab: Arooooo. · Noah: *throws invisable ball* · Lab: *runs and pulls Noah away* · Gwen: ...that was weird. *stands up* Whoooooa, whoaa! Ugh. Come on, Cody. I do NOT want to be like this longer then I'm being forced to. · Cody: *is clearly looking up her skirt at every given moment* Just do what I do. Look up towards the bright side.... *looks up* Oh yeah.... *snaps out of it* At least you don't have those wings... now you can go to bed easier... · Gwen: *walks to the door...smacks into it and falls on top of Cody. She gets up. Cody is muy happy* · Gwen: *strains herself to open door* (gasps) My stupid magic isn't working! · Cody: Makes sense. You don't have a horny I MEAN HORN!!! *nervously giggles* · Gwen: What the hell?! *feels head* But that thing's hardcore! · Cody: We really need to find you a mirror... or just ask.. me what I see. (bounces eyebrows) · (Gwen and Cody walk in skeptically...She looks around and sees a bunch of marshmallows and gophers and fish) · (She comes across a bunch of Gilded Chrises) · Gwen: What do you think, Cody? Other artifacts...or whatever these creepy things are...she's stolen from Equestria? · Gwen: (looks in mirror) (gasp) what am I? · (Gwen fondles her hair, teeth, breasts...Cody watches) · (The school bell rings. A bunch of weird looking people disperse) · Owen: (talking to Tyler) And then I farted! · Tyler: NICE BRO! · Geoff: (talking to Bridgette) And then I partied! · Bridgette: Oh Geoff! (makes out) · Eva: *walks bye and smacks Gwen in the face with her mp3, knocking her down* · *Into Duncan's short legs* Duncan: Woah...... I don't like surprises.... (walks away) · Cody: I don't think this is the campgrounds... · SONG TIME · Forget that song, it's dumb. · (Gwen turns the corner and sees two girls arguing against the lockers) · Beth: I'm stho sthorry! I stheriousthly didn't know it wasth yoursth... I ... uh... · Courtney: Well, it WAS! And I was going to grab it before you and your sprinkler system for a mouth, RUINED IT! You really shouldn't pick up things that don't belong to you, or I'll sue your pants off! · Beth: (quiet) It'th money...it'th not thupposed to be in anyone'th pothession.... · Courtney: EXCUSE ME?! · Beth: N....nothing. · Courtney: That's what I thought! It's as good as mine! I deserve it! YOU really ARE pathetic! It's no wonder your best friend is a dirty PIG!... litteraly! · Gwen: How dare you speak to her that way, you sellout. · Courtney: WHAT! Did you say? · Gwen: I SAID, how DARE you speak to her that way. · Courtney: *smirks* You must be second generation cast. I can speak to whoever I want. After all, I', a CIT. (glares at Ezekiel who cowers in his locker) · Beth: *hugs Gwen, to her dismay* I can't believe you did that! · Gwen: I couldn't just stand there. I hate fake girls. · Beth: ... Welll nobody has ever told off COURTNEY like that! · Zeke: *peeks out of the locker, then falls out* · Beth: You've made the misthfortune of knowing her too? · Gwen: Eh...sort of, unfortunately. · Beth: I don't think I've seen you around before... and I know everything about EVERYONE. .... Did you transfer here from that school next to the radioactive plant down the street? · Gwen: (thinks to herself) Um...yeah! The radioactive school! (growls like a mutant) My name's Gwen. · Beth: (gets up in her face, spit flies from her mouth) I'M BETH! · Gwen: *wipes spit off her face* Sorry, what was that? · Beth: (sees Cody) AWWW! WHO'STH THISTH cutie!? (pushes Gwen over) · Gwen: (stumbles and catches her balance, roling her eyes) That's Cody. My....(groans) ...dog. · Beth: Awww!!! *pulls out potato chips* These were originally for sthomeone elsthe, but forget it! Eat up little guy! · Cody: *sniffs* Mmm, barbacue-IMEANWOOF! *eats* · Beth: Wouldn't it be great to know what they were thinking...oh the pure innocent thoughts of an animal? (cooes at Cody) · Gwen: Oh, when he tells me, it isn't so innocent. · Beth: Huh? · Cody: *giving a sly look* Woof...woof. · Twilight: Oh, uh...nothing. Never mind. Courtney said you picked somehting up, something that belonged to her. It wasn't a briefcase full of money, was it · Beth: ...How did you know? · Gwen: Oh...umm...lucky guess? Do you still have it? · Beth: Uhhh...... No. · Gwen: *scowls* But you know what happened to it. · Beth: Well, I was giving out friendsthhip brastheletsth to the general public this morning, like I do every Wednesday. · Beth: (flashback) Friendsthip brsthelets! Anyone wanna be friends!? (Justin walks by and takes on... he grimaces at how sweaty it is, cries, throws it in the garbages, barfs in the garbage and jumps off a cliff. Beth sits down and cries* · Beth: OUCH! *a suitcase hits her in the skull) · *flashback over noises* · Beth: I have no idea how it got there...or where that cliff came from. But I didn't want anybody to steal that money, so I gave it to the most honest, reliable person I know... Principal McLean. · Gwen: *gets an "are you for real" face* PRINCIPAL McLean? He's the....(disgusted face) ruler here? · Beth: You could sthay that... yeah he's not that great. He once had our prom on a boat... and forgot the boat.... but thems the brakesth. Vice Principal Chef and Chris DO make the rules...and break them often. · Gwen: Where is he now? (mumbles) Probably in a hot tub or counting his money or killing us or something... · Beth: Probably counting his money in his private hot tub on the roof? · : (Walks away, rolling her eyes) Thanks...I guess. *Beth: Oh wait! you're really not supposed to have animals on school grounds. *the bear, sasquatch and a baby seal walk by* *Beth: You should probably tuck them into your backpack like I do. (Big Bertha, a full grown pig, pops its head out of her backpack...the size proportions make no sense) *Beth: She gets lonely during the day... (it eats her ponytail) And hungry. *Gwen: Oh....*backs away slowly* Okay. Thank you.... · Beth: *bell rings* AUGH! Don't be late to class! Last kid that ended up late got launched out of a catapult! *leaves*